Conflict Intervention: Patton Family Case
Patton Family case describes a conflict that has arised between Robert Patton and his wife Denise after 23 years of their marriage. The conflict is complex and includes diverse issues.
Analyzing positions of the parties presented several main issues can be listed in this conflict:
1. Lack of communication. Parties of the conflict can not discuss each other’s position.
2. Diverse positions towards Patton’s sun bringing up their son. Denise believes her son has mental disabilities and requires special treatment and individual education. Robert and Leigh believe Denise is not strict enough with the child.
3. Power disbalance in the conflict. Robert is only income earner in the family. That gives him primary influence on the situation.
There are also several cognitive variables that influence the conflict (Pearson d’Estree, I.L.Shapiro) like selective perception (one party perceives only selective aspects of opponent’s position) and prejudice (Robert tends to stereotype Denise behaviors) .
All above mentioned issues and variables are the results of unsatisfied needs of family members. Talking about Robert - it is need of self esteem (he doesn’t feel appreciated), need of fairness, need of love. Denise needs security (she feels quite insecure because of her son), personal fulfillment and love as well. Children in this situation feel the need of security and love/belonging as well. All the unsatisfied needs cause unmet expectations.
In my personal opinion solving above mentioned issues is something mediator should focus on. Firstly the mediator should solve the issue of lack of communication so that parties could discuss their positions and interests for issue #2 and #3. I also believe that by changing social roles Robert and Denise would be less categorical in their positions. It might help them understand expectations each of them had towards each other. On the one hand, in case Robert spends more time with children it might give him some insights on Arnie’s state. He either will see that Denise is right either Denise will understand she was giving her son too much attention. On the other hand, Denise would have time for self-realization in terms of career/hobbies/etc. It will foster power rebalancing in the conflict. So, the logical solution is to try partial role-modeling: each of parents will take care of children for an agreed period of time.
Exploring this idea without advising the family directly can be achieved after a series of personal talks and listening sessions with family members. One of alternative ways for Denise Patton since Robert Patton does not agree to cover requested expenses is to start earning money. This is possible only if Robert takes care of children sometimes. Such position doesn’t go against Robert’s position or interests. So I believe after establishing more effective communication conflict parties will come to above mentioned logical solution.
References:
Tamra Pearson d’Estree and Ilana L. Shapiro, Conlict Resolution -Vol1. - Interpersonal conflict
Institute for Conflict Analysis and Resolution, George Mason University
Deutsch M., and P.T. Coleman (2000). The Handbook on Conflict Resolution. San Francisco. Jossey - …
